Wholesome

Yesterday I was listening to an older episode of the podcast All My Relations, and one host described reading out loud with her family as wholesome. First, I basked in the beauty of that kind of connection and thought of things like that I could seek for myself, then I was caught in a whirlwind of thoughts with the same title -what is wholesome?

I had learnt the word wholesome as experiences of innocence and repression of any expression of sexuality. While not identifying with that I’ve always loved wholesome activities. I love dates that are branded as sweet and innocent like sharing a soda and talking, hikes, arcades (though my language may not be wholesome in those competitive moments), kids movies and general play. 

Looking up the definition surprised me 

1: promoting health or well-being of mind or spirit

2 : promoting health of body

3a : sound in body, mind, or morals

b : having the simple health or vigor of normal domesticity

4a : based on well-grounded fear : PRUDENT

a wholesome respect for the law

b : SAFE

it wouldn't be wholesome for you to go down there

— Mark Twain

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/wholesome

Health, sound body, mind or morals cool then dang ‘vigor of normal domesticity’ . All these rely on a common definition of morality, normal and domesticity… and I see the power in our world redefining all of these. 

Connection with our bodies and sexuality breeds connection with our partner(s) and loved ones. Self exploration of what our normal domesticity fits us allows for safety in ourselves and being able to say no. It assists us towards being safe and healthy. 

Resent-fully I see that what I like about wholesome activities are similar to what is helpful in my daily routines. I need wholesomeness daily. I believe we all do. When we do things to align with our morals, and wellbeing we feel closer to whole. AND when we find someone to do wholesome things with that connection feels that much more authentic, tangible and real. 

Somehow, we’ve made it impossible for someone to embrace their inner child and explore the joy in sexuality. Sex can become so serious. When play, mindful connection and safety make sex so much more fun. Bringing the vibe of wholesomeness brings our full selves to each other naked or clothed. 

Let’s be wholesome, inline with our own definition of normal domesticity, healthy and moral.