Bandaid Removal

I caught myself lying again. I said I’m a rip the bandaid off kind of person. In truth I very very slowly pull a bandaid off… and say to whomever might be near that it doesn’t have to hurt. 

I meant do the biopsy now, just in case, cause that’s easier to deal with than the anxiety of waiting. I am a do the hard part fast… if the hard part has to happen, type of person. 

It’s got me thinking about all those expressions that don’t work for me anymore. 

I’ve faked it till I make it so many times that I’ve got to have made it by now!  I’m in the place where I don’t want to fake anything anymore. 

I want to work soft and play slow. 

I want to dress how I will show up as my best self not ‘for the job I want’, 

ask questions, 

admit when I don’t know or am wrong and stop saying slogans that were made to make me cast myself aside and fit in. 

I want to remember how many tools I’ve gathered to deal with the bandaid rip, know that I can handle pain but don’t have to a lot of the time. I can find the easier way, the realer way and maybe break scripts more and more.