My 2023 Anti-Burnout Plan
I like big goals and I cannot lie. You others can’t deny. When the achievement dopamine walks in I can’t help but chase it, and exhaust myself.
The last few years have made everyone think differently about how we hustle and what matters and yet I tried to just push through and saw so many others try the same and hit burn out.
What is burn out?
Herbert Freudenberger first formally defined burnout as “becoming exhausted by making excessive demands on energy, strength, or resources” (Freudenberger, 1974, p. 159, as cited by Linda V. Heinemann and Torsten Heinemann in 2017) The Heinemanns’ study shows that burnout seems to have many different definitions across many studies but I will describe it as hitting the wall where it starts to be hard to care for yourself or others, just tired and surviving.
My plan to try to prevent it in 2023
Stay Guided by Big Goals and The Why Behind them
I am working towards my Masters of Marriage and Family Therapy not to have that piece of paper but to do the work. The big goal is not the degree but the things it enables which I can already ground myself in. The goals include helping people, learning and having fun challenges. I can’t do that if I’m so worn out I can’t think. So as I plan my calendar I will ground myself in the why behind the degree not the giant gold star it feels like. I will work for balance, being present with my learnings and modelling true self care.
Same with my other things I’m working on. Fitness is important to me, not to achieve a particular body but to feel more at home within the one I’m moving. I need to be present with that while planning the workouts (which I use Ladder and love but still have to plan some extra rest days), planning the rest and noticing my self talk as I run, lift, move and stretch.
Breaks and Self-Care
I will take breaks not to put the oxygen mask on myself before helping others but because I need oxygen and can often trust others to care for themselves if I let them. I will not take break and care for myself in the effort to meet goals but because my goals are to serve me and the enjoyment is the whole point.
I feel good when I help others and work hard but I also feel good when I do the same for me. I will keep to my dang routines of care including sleep routines, exercise, eat foods that fuel me (with nutrition and dopamine when needed) and check in with myself to see if these are being done in a sustainable way.
Debrief/Use Supports
This is very much a therapy term but I totally carry it over to life. Work needs debriefing as feeling not alone and cared for is a huge preventor of burnout but life needs it too. Sometimes I debrief myself by writing my blog ei not finishing the marathon, I get to feel then process my feelings and make meaning. I am setting the goal to formalize debriefing more often in the next year, if I know something will be hard setting up plans with a friend, my partner or family so I can go home, feel, dwell and then reconnect with everything else I care about.
Add Kindness When grumpy
After a rough sleep, hard day, bad experience I want to yell, rant and ughhhh at the world. First, acknowledging and feeling that is so important and gives me information that I can make adjustments around, set boundaries or say hurt. Then, I truly believe there are joys in every possibility (Against Me!, 2005) so I look around and find it. As Mr. Rogers said look for the helpers, and this may include me. If I’m walking outside it might mean mindfulness and it might mean telling that person they are wearing an awesome shirt, I love their energy or texting a friend how much they mean to me. I can validate and care for my grump and introduce gratitude and kindness to even things out a little bit.
Remember Everything matters and nothing really matters
I often say this to myself when overwhelmed or hearing news. Yes it matters and maybe nothing really does. Nihilism can be strangely comforting as some meme and tiktoks have shown it can be funny and break tension but I find some odd comfort in if there is no set meaning then I can make whatever I want meaningful. Activism can feel like it doesn’t end up mattering but I know it matters to me that I showed up. It might mean that thing I’m worried about no one else cares which can be sad but also so freeing. I can go hard and it will make a difference, and it might not matter at all if I don’t.
Sources:
Against Me! (2005) Joy [song] On Searching for a Former Clarity
Linda V. Heinemann and Torsten Heinemann (2017) Burnout Research: Emergance and Scientific Investigation of a Contested Diagnosis, SAGE open retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/2158244017697154
Wendy Syfret (2019) Sunny nihilism: 'Since discovering I’m worthless my life has felt precious', The Guardian retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/dec/18/sunny-nihilism-since-discovering-im-worthless-my-life-has-felt-precious