Lately, as I leave the house folks want to engage with me so much!

The positive version of me wants to feel the connection with community and be the person who says hello, knows my neighbours and all that…but people keep pushing and pushing.

Its been people yelling about my body, one person just HAD to give me a chocolate bar despite me saying no, don’t come near me and that my dog might bite.

My brain starts to work on making sense of the uptake in street harassment. Of course, it focuses on what I might be able to control, me.

Should I take a step back from working out so people can’t comment?

Or increase to feel stronger?

Do I switch out ear buds for over ear headphones on my runs? But that doesn’t seem to matter…

I say I can’t talk now… but that’s disregarded.

Mayb just say no? But I have real reason to fear violence with that..

Switch routes? But I’m running out of options!

I huff and shake it off.

I’m angry.

Of course I want control.

I want to be able to do something about this weirdness but I can’t.

It is not my fault.

That feels so helpless.

I am even hesitant to post this and start getting suggestions, always on me.

I do understand no one wants to feel helpless too.

I know so darn well that harassment isn’t on me. It’s on the people being weird.

I enjoy my body, I should have to even consider changing it to cater to makes someone behaving badly perhaps less eager to do so.

I’m out more and how dare someone show they are comfortable with themselves.

How dare they disengage from chatting.

How dare they focus on the dog, the run, or whatever they want to be focused on.

How dare I take up space without making room for someone to intrude.

The changes I make will be for me. What makes me feel safer and more comfortable.

Its not my fault and its not your fault either.