Grief is a unique beast. It is different for everyone, and each person, every time they experience it.

My cat died suddenly last week. It was brutal, heartbreaking and the worst part is that life keeps on going. So, here is how I personally coped. Again, everyone is different and if these things don’t help you, do not worry. You are not failing. You are not doing anything wrong.

1 – I shared my pain.

I talked about it with my partner, friends, and family. At first telling others sucked, it was so vulnerable and made something that felt unbelievable solid and real… but it did help. They shared stories about who the cat was, shared their love for me and that they saw the love I had for him, and they offered so much support.

2 – I felt it.

I cried a lot. Brought up my fears, my what ifs, and cried some more. As much as I would have liked to push it down, distracted myself or whatever… I, sigh, know better and allowed the sadness, helplessness, and emptiness to simply be. Of course, the humor and love that came up got to take up space then too, making space to feel it that much more.

3 – I used art.

I had used a Spotify feature to make a pet playlist https://pets.byspotify.com/ , so I listened to the cat’s playlist. I embroidered his face to put on the wall. I googled art made by others and thought a lot about buying some of it. We printed a photo to keep close. I also used sad music to guide feelings.

4- I moved my body

Slow stretching allowed space to cry and miss him joining in. Getting my heart rate up help moved things through me and let my brain slow down to rest later on.

5- I meditated

I avoided anything trying to find gratitude or joy, that’s for later. I found simple breathing slowed things down. A soft voice saying just think of the here and now made it a little less overwhelming.

AND I stopped any of the above when it wasn’t helping, I needed breaks, or it wasn’t the thing I needed right then.